Its hard for a bird to fly through the air with water on its wings.
What about us flying to Jannah, when its the whole world that we cling?
We have the map to
The path to Jannah gets abandoned out of love for this world.
Left and right Muslims are selling their faith for temporary pleasures.
Because many have lost sight of the Jannah and its everlasting treasures.
There's only one path to
Its time to turn back to Allah's map, there's more to this life then just play.
Its a blessing to be a Muslim; considering how many others are lost.
Yet the title of a Muslim is nothing if our submission we have tossed.
This life is so short; come on listen up, this aint some sort of joke.
If we don't get our acts together, in the next life we may go up in smoke.
Lets turn back to Allah, come on, lets not waste another day.
Lets get back on track. Oh Allah, from the true path, don't let us sway!
Lets seek our help from Allah, we got to follow Him as much as we can.
If your not using the map to Jannah; where are you going, what's your plan?
This life is so short, lets wake up and see where were heading.
We have the map to
The web of a spider is weak, yet it overpowers the fly.
This dunyah is worthless, so don't let its web catch your eye.
Do You Eat Suhoor (Pre-Dawn Meal) in Ramadan?
Monday, May 26, 2008
The Road Map To Jannah
Monday, May 19, 2008
Shoulder To Shoulder And Foot To Foot
In the rows of prayer, we should stand shoulder to shoulder and foot to foot.
Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy on him, narrated (683) from Anas that the Prophet PBUH said: “Make your rows straight, for I can see you from behind my back.”
Anas said: “so each of us would stand with his shoulder against his neighbour’s shoulder and his foot against his foot.”
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) gave this chapter the title: “Chapter on standing shoulder to shoulder and foot to foot.”
He said: al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer said: “I saw people standing with their ankles against their neighbours’ ankle.”
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeem al-Abaadi said: he said in al-Ta’leeq al-Mughni: These ahaadeeth clearly indicate the importance of making the rows straight, which is part of the perfection of prayer; they indicate that people should not stand back (from the row) or in front of (the row), and that they should stand shoulder to shoulder, foot to foot and knee to knee with their neighbours. But nowadays this Sunnah is being ignored! If someone does this nowadays the people shy away from him like zebras! Verily to Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return.
(‘Awn al-Ma’bood, 2/256)
The shoulder: is the place where the upper arm joins the body.
The ankle: is the bone which protrudes at the side of the foot.
And Allaah knows best.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
No Particular Dua For Exams
We see many students reciting some du’aa’s before exams and afterwards, such as the du’aa’ said when starting to revise, “O Allaah I ask You for the understanding of the Prophets and the memory of the Messengers and angels who are close to You, make my tongue fresh with Your remembrance and my heart humble to You and obedient You, for You are sufficient for me and You are the best disposer of affairs.” And when going out of the house and heading towards the exam, can I say, “O Allaah, in You I have put my trust and I submit my affairs to You, and there is no refuge from You except with You.” And at the end of the exam: “Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us and we could not have been guided had not Allaah guided us.” And when stumbling over an answer: “There is no god but You, glory be to You, verily I was one of the wrongdoers. O Ever-Living, O Sustainer, by your mercy I seek help,” and many others.
There is NO report in the Sunnah which suggests what can be said during the exams. The du’aa’s that are widespread among students and are said during revision or when receiving the exam papers or when stumbling over an answer or when handing in the paper, etc., all have no basis in the Sunnah, either in saheeh reports or da’eef reports. Rather they are all fabricated and are falsely attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Attributing any such thing to the Sunnah when one knows that it is not part of the Sunnah makes a person one of those who tell lies against the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
It was narrated that al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Telling a lie against me is not like telling a lie against anyone else. Whoever tells a lie against me deliberately, let him take his place in Hell.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1229; Muslim, 4.
Whoever spreads these false ahaadeeth and other like them, knowing that they cannot be soundly attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is telling lies against the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his sin is the same as the sin of the one who fabricated them.
It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever narrated from me a hadeeth which he thinks is false is one of the liars.” Narrated by Muslim in the Introduction to his Saheeh.
There is a proven du’aa’ for leaving the house, but it is not as described by the questioner. The phrase is “Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom bi rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever Living, O Sustainer, by Your mercy I seek help).” There are ahaadeeth which indicate that this is to be said at times of hardship and difficulty. All of that includes exams and other difficulties. There follow the ahaadeeth which have been narrated concerning that:
1 – It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever says – when leaving his house – Bismillaah, tawakkaltu ‘ala Allaah, laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, there is no power and no strength except with Allaah), it will be said to him: You are taken care of and you are protected, and the Shaytaan will keep away from him.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 5095; al-Tirmidhi, 3426; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
2 – It was also narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: If something upset him, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say: “Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom bi rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever Living, O Sustainer, by Your mercy I seek help).” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3524; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 3182.
3 – It was also narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O Allaah, nothing is easy but that which You make easy and You can make hardship easy if You will.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 3/255; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 2886.
4 – It was narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The prayer of Dhu’l-Noon when he was in the belly of the fish: ‘Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (There is no god but You, glory to You, verily I was one of the wrongdoers).’ A Muslim never calls upon his Lord with these words concerning any matter, but his prayer is answered.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3505; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1644.
Conclusion: It is not permissible to invent du’aa’s and attribute them to Islam. What has been narrated in the ahaadeeth that may be said during times of hardship and difficulty is sufficient.
And Allaah knows best.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Moving The Finger During Tashahhud
It is Sunnah to point with the forefinger and move it during the Tashahhud, because of the report narrated by Ahmad (18890) and al-Nasaa’i from Waa’il ibn Hajar who said: I said, I will watch how the Messenger of Allaah PBUH prays. So I watched him and he stood up and said “Allaahu akbar,” and raised his hands until they were level with his ears, then he placed his right hand over his left and left wrist and left forearm. Then when he wanted to bow he raised his hands likewise. He put his hands on his knees, then when he raised his head he raised his hands likewise. Then he prostrated and put his hands level with his ears, then he sat resting on his left foot and placed his left hand on his thigh and left knee, and he put the elbow of his right hand on his right thigh. Then he made a circle with two of his fingers, then he raised his finger and I saw him moving it and making du’aa’ with it.” This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i.
Muslim (580) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar said: When he – meaning the Prophet PBUH – sat during the prayer, he would place his right hand on his right thigh and clench all his fingers, and point with the finger that is next to the thumb, and he would place his left hand on his left thigh.
According to a report narrated by Muslim from Ibn ‘Umar, when the Prophet PBUH) sat during the prayer, he would put his hands on his thighs and raise the finger of his right hand that is next to the thumb, and make du’aa’ with it, and his left hand would be resting on his left thigh.
Al-Nasaa’i (1273) narrated that Sa’d said: The Messenger of Allaah PBUH passed by me whilst I was making du’aa’ with my fingers and he said, “One, one,” and pointed with his index finger. Meaning: point with one finger, namely the index finger.
Ahmad (5964) narrated that Naafi’ said: When ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar sat during the prayer, he would put his hands on his thighs and point with his finger whilst looking at it. Then he said: The Messenger of Allaah PBUH said, “It is harder on the Shaytaan than iron,” meaning the index finger. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Sifat Salaat al-Nabi (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), p. 159.
These ahaadeeth indicate two things:
1 – That one should point with the finger throughout the entire Tashahhud
2 – That one should move it when making du’aa’.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) explained the phrases narrated for the du’aa’ in the Tashahhud. He said:
Every time you make du’aa’ then move your finger towards upwards towards the One upon Whom you are calling, so we say:
Al-salaamu ‘alayka ayyuha’l-Nabiyyu (Peace be upon you O Prophet) – you should point your finger whilst reciting this because the salaam is a kind of du’aa’.
Al-salaamu ‘alayna (peace be upon us) – point your finger.
Allaahumma salli ‘ala Muhammad (O Allaah, send prayers upon Muhammad) – point your finger.
Allaahumma baarik ‘ala Muhammad (O Allaah, send blessings upon Muhammad) – point your finger.
A’oodhu Billaaih min ‘adhaaib Jahannam (I seek refuge with Allaah from the torment of Hell) – point your finger.
Wa min ‘adhaab il-qabr (and from the torment of the grave) – point your finger.
Wa min fitnat il-mahyaa wa’l-mamaat (and from the trials of life and death) – point your finger.
Wa min fitnat il-maseeh il-dajjaal (and from the trial of the Dajjaal) – point your finger.
Every time you make du’aa’ point upwards towards the One upon Whom you are calling. This is closer to the Sunnah.
End of quotation from al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 3/202
And Allaah knows best.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Beautiful Gift
A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told
He never contacted his father again for long long time. Many years
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away,
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Free From Calamities
Bismillaahil-lazee laa yadhurru ma'as-mihi shay'un fil-'ardhi wa laa fis-samaa'i wa Huwas-Samee'ul-'Aleem.
In the Name of Allah, Who with His Name nothing can cause harm in the earth nor in the heavens, and He is All-Hearing, the All-Knowing. (Recite three times in Arabic).
"Whoever recites it three times in the morning will not be afflicted by any calamity before evening, and whoever recites it three times in the evening will not be overtaken by any calamity before morning."
(Abu Dawud 4/332, At-Thirmithi 5/465, Ibn Majah 2/332)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Ten Ways To Increase Happiness In Marriage.
Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.
Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.
Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)
Be Your Mate's Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.
Express Feelings Often
This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.
Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.
Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.
Surprise Each Other at Times
This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.
Have a Sense of Humour
This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:
Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.
Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.
Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Tips For Improving Your Relationship With The Quran
Are you one of those people who rarely touches the Qur'an? Or do you read daily, but don't find it is having the impact on you that it should? Whatever the case may be, these are some simple tips that can help you connect with the Qur'an.
1. Before you touch it, check your heart. The key to really benefiting from the Qur'an is to check your heart first, before you even touch Allah's book. Ask yourself, honestly, why you are reading it. Is it to just get some information and to let it drift away from you later? Remember that the Prophet Muhammad PBUH was described by his wife as a "walking Qur'an": in other words, he didn't just read and recite the Qur'an, he lived it.
2. Do your Wudu (ablution). Doing your Wudu is good physical and mental preparation to remind you you're not reading just another book. You are about to interact with God, so being clean should be a priority when communicating with Him.
3. Read only 5 minutes everyday. Too often, we think we should read Qur'an for at least one whole hour. If you aren't in the habit of reading regularly, this is too much. Start off with just five minutes daily. If you took care of step one, Insha Allah (God willing), you will notice that those five minutes will become ten, then half an hour, then an hour, and maybe even more!
4. Make sure you understand what you've read. Five minutes of reading the Qur'an in Arabic is good, but you need to understand what you're reading. Make sure you have a good translation of the Qur'an in the language you understand best. Always try to read the translation of what you've read that day
5. Remember, the Qur'an is more interactive than a CD. In an age of "interactive" CD-Roms and computer programs, a number of people think books are passive and boring. But the Qur'an is not like that. Remember that when you read Qur'an,you are interacting with Allah. He is talking to you, so pay attention.
6. Don't just read, listen too. There are now many audio cassettes and CDs of the Qur'an, a number of them with translations as well. This is great to put on your walkman or your car's CD or stereo as you drive to and from work. Use this in addition to your daily Qur'an reading, not as a replacement for it.
7. Make Dua (supplication). Ask Allah to guide you when you read the Qur'an. Your aim is to sincerely, for the love of Allah, interact with Him by reading, understanding and applying His blessed words. Making Dua to Allah for help and guidance will be your best tool for doing this.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Victims Of Mixing.....True Stories
Lost hope
Umm Muhammad, a mature woman over the age of 40, tells her story.
I lived a life of modest means with my husband. There was never any closeness and harmony, and my husband did not have the kind of strong personality that a woman would hope for, but his good nature made me overlook the fact that I was the one who was responsible for most of the decision making in the family.
My husband often used to mention the name of his friend and business partner, and he would talk about him in my presence, and I often used to meet with him in his office which was originally part of our apartment. This went on for many years, until circumstances led to us exchanging visits with this person and his family. These family visits were repeated and because of his close friendship with my husband, we did not notice how the number of visits increased and how many hours a single visit would last. He often used to come on his own to sit with us, me and my husband, for long visits. My husband’s trust in him knew no bounds, and as days passed I got to know this person very well, and saw how wonderful and decent he was. I began to feel a strong attraction towards this man, and at the same time I began to sense that the feeling was mutual.
Things took a strange turn after that, when I realized that this man was the kind of person I had always dreamed about. Why had he come along now, after all these years? The more this man’s status increased in my eyes, the more my husband’s status diminished. It was as if I had needed to see the beauty of his character in order to discover how ugly my husband’s character was.
The matter between this person and myself did not go beyond these persistent thoughts which were occupying my mind night and day. Neither he nor I ever voiced what we felt in our hearts… until today. Yet despite that my life is over and my husband is little more than a weak man with no self-esteem. I hate him and I do not know how all this hatred towards him started to boil over. I wonder how I put up with him all these years, bearing all these burdens by myself, facing life’s problems on my own.
Things got so bad that I asked him for a divorce, and he divorced me at my request. After that he became a broken man. Even worse than that is that after my marriage was wrecked and my children and husband were devastated, problems arose in this man's family. His wife, with her feminine intuition, realized what had been going on in his heart of hearts, and his life became hell. She was overwhelmed with jealousy to the extent that one night she left her house at 2 a.m. and came to attack my house, screaming, weeping and hurling accusations. His marriage was also about to collapse.
I admit that the lovely gatherings which we used to enjoy gave us the opportunity to get to know one another at a time that was not appropriate at this stage in our lives.
His marriage has been wrecked and so has mine. I have lost everything, and now I know that my circumstances and his will not permit us to take any positive step towards coming together. Now I am more miserable than I have ever been, and I am looking for illusionary happiness and lost hopes.
Tit-for-tat
Umm Ahmad tells us:
My husband had a group of married friends, and because of our close friendship with them, we used to get together with them once a week in one of our houses, to enjoy an evening of chat.
Deep down in my heart I was never really comfortable with the atmosphere in which we would have dinner, sweets, snacks and drinks of juice accompanied by waves of laughter because of the jokes and chit-chats that often went beyond the bounds of good manners.
In the name of friendship, the barriers were lifted and every now and then one would hear suppressed laughter between a woman and the husband of another woman. The jokes were too much, dealing – with no sense of shyness –with sensitive topics such as sex and women’s private matters. This was usual and was even accepted and regarded as desirable.
Although I indulged in these things along with them, my conscience made me feel guilty. Then the day came when it became quite clear just how ugly and filthy this atmosphere was.
The telephone rang, and I heard the voice of one of the friends in this group. I said hello to him and apologized that my husband was not home. He replied that he knew that, and that he was calling to speak to me! After he suggested starting a relationship with me, I got very angry and spoke harshly to him and cursed him. All he could do was laugh and say, “Don’t try and show these good manners to me; go and check on your husband’s good manners and see what he is doing…” I was devastated by what he said, but I pulled myself together and said to myself, this person is only trying to cause the break up of your marriage. But he succeeded in planting the seeds of doubt concerning my husband.
Shortly after that, the major disaster struck. I discovered that my husband was cheating on me with another woman. It was the matter of life or death as far as I was concerned. I found my husband out and I confronted him, saying: “You are not the only one who can have a relationship. I have received a similar proposition.” And I told him all about his friend. He was stunned and absolutely shocked. (I said:) “If you want me to respond in kind to your relationship with that woman, then this is for that, tit-for-tat.” This was a huge slap in the face for him. He knew that I did not intend to do that in reality, but he realized the great disaster that had befallen our lives and the immoral atmosphere in which we were living. I suffered a great deal until my husband finally left that loose woman with whom he was having a relationship, as he admitted to me. Yes, he left her and came back to his family and children, but how can I ever feel the same towards him as I used to? Who will restore respect for him in my heart? This huge wound in my heart is still bleeding out of regret and rage at that filthy atmosphere; it still bears testimony to the fact that what they call innocent get-togethers are in reality anything but innocent. My heart still begs for mercy from the Lord of Glory.
Intelligence can also be a temptation (fitnah)
‘Abd al-Fattaah says:
I work as the head of department in one of the big companies. For a long time I admired one of my female colleagues, not for her beauty, but for her serious attitude towards her work, her intelligence and her excellent achievements – in addition to the fact that she was a decent and modest person who focused only on her work. This admiration turned into attachment, and I am a married man who fears Allaah and never misses any obligatory prayer. I expressed my feelings to her and she rebuffed me. She is married and has children as well. She sees no reason why I should have any kind of relationship with her, whether it be friendship, as work colleagues or based on admiration… etc. Evil thoughts come to me sometimes, and deep down I wish that her husband would divorce her so that I could get her.
I started to put pressure on her at work and put her down in front of my bosses. Perhaps this was a form of revenge on my part, but she accepted it with good manners and did not complain or comment. She works and works; her performance speaks of her quality, and she knows this well. The more she resisted me, the stronger my infatuation grew.
I am not a person who is easily tempted by women, because I fear Allaah and I do not overstep the mark with them and go beyond what is required by my work. But this woman attracted me. What is the solution?… I do not know.
Baby ducks know how to swim
N.A.A., a nineteen-year-old girl, tells us:
At that time I was a little girl. My innocent eyes watched those evening get-togethers when family friends would meet in the house. What I remember is that I could only see one man, who was my father. I watched him as he moved about the room, how his glances would devour the women present, looking at their thighs and chests, admiring this one’s eyes, that one’s hair, the other’s hips. My poor mother had no choice but to take care of these get-togethers. She was a very simple lady.
Among the women present there was one woman who would deliberately try to attract my father’s attention, sometimes by coming close to him, and sometimes by making enticing movements. I would watch this with concern, whilst my mother was busy in the kitchen for the sake of her guests.
These gatherings stopped suddenly and I tried, young as I was, to understand and make sense of what had happened, but I could not.
What I remember was that my mother collapsed completely at that time, and she could not stand to hear my father’s name mentioned in the house. I used to hear mysterious words whispered by the adults around me: “Betrayal… bedroom… she saw them with her own eyes… despicable woman… in a very shameful position…” etc. These were the key words which only the adults could understand.
I grew up and came to understand, and I bore a grudge against all men. All of them were treacherous. My mother was a broken woman and accused every woman who came to us of being a man-snatcher who wanted to make my father fall into her trap. My father hasn’t changed. He is still practising his favourite hobby of chasing women, but now he does it outside the home. Now I am nineteen years old and I know lots of young men. I feel great pleasure in taking revenge on them, because every one of them is an exact copy of my father. I tempt them and entice them, without letting them get anywhere near me. They follow me in gatherings and in the marketplaces because of my movements and deliberate gestures. Sometimes my phone never stops ringing and I feel proud of what I do to avenge the sex of Hawwa’ and my mother. But sometimes I feel so miserable and such a failure that it almost chokes me. My life is shadowed by a huge dark cloud, and its name is my father.
Before it is too late
S.N.A. tells of her experience:
I never imagined that my work circumstances would force me to be in contact with the opposite sex (men), but this in fact is what happened…
In the beginning, I used to cover and screen myself from men by wearing niqaab (face-veil), but some of the sisters advised me that this dress was attracting more attention to my presence, and it would be better for me to take off the niqaab, especially since my eyes were somewhat attractive. So I removed the cover from my face, thinking that this was better. But by continuing to mix with my colleagues, I discovered that I was the odd one out because of my antisocial attitude and my insistence on not joining in the conversation and chatting with others. Everyone was wary of this “lone-wolf” woman (as they saw me), and this is what was stated clearly by one person who affirmed that he would not want to deal with such a snooty and stand-offish character. But I knew that I was the opposite, in fact, and I decided that I would not oppress myself and put myself in a difficult position with my colleagues. So I started to join in their chats and exchanges of anecdotes, and they all discovered that I could speak eloquently and persuasively, and that I could influence others. I could also speak in a manner that was determined yet at the same time was attractive to some of my colleagues. It was not long before I noticed some changes in the expression of my direct supervisor; with some embarrassment, he was enjoying the way I spoke and moved, and he would deliberately bring up topics in the conversation where I would see that hateful look in his eyes. I do not deny the fact that I started to entertain some thoughts about this man. I found it astonishing that a man could fall so easily into the trap of a woman who was religiously committed, so how must it be in the case of women who adorn themselves and invite men to commit immoral actions? In fact, I did not think of him in any way which went beyond the bounds of sharee’ah, but he did occupy a space in my thoughts for quite some time. But soon my self-respect made me reject the idea of being a source of enjoyment for this man in any way, shape or form, even if it was only psychological in nature, and I stopped getting involved in any kind of work that would force me to sit alone with him. In the end, I reached the following conclusions:
1- Attraction between the sexes can occur in any circumstances, no matter how much men and women may deny that. The attraction may start within the bounds of sharee’ah and end up going beyond those bounds.
Even if a person protects himself (by marriage), he is not safe from the snares of the Shaytaan.
2- Even though a person may be able to guarantee himself and he works with the opposite sex within reasonable limits, he cannot guarantee the feelings of the other party.
Finally, there is nothing good in mixing and it does not bear fruit as they claim. On the contrary, it corrupts sound thinking.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Mixing Of Men And Women
Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:
Verse No. 53 of
In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir RA said: "Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen."
The Prophet PBUH enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:
Umm Salamah RA said that after Allah’s Messenger PBUH said "as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet PBUH was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart."( Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793.)
Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title "Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah" (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger PBUH said: "We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women." Naafi’ said: "Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died." Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in "Kitab as-Salah" under the Chapter entitled: "at-Tashdid fi Thalik".
Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet PBUH said: ""The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first."( Narrated by Muslim under No. 664).
This is the greatest evidence that the Law of Islam (Shari'ah) forbids meeting and mixing of men and women. The farther the men are from the women’s rows, the better, and vice versa.
If these procedures and precautions were prescribed and adhered to in a mosque, which is a pure place of worship where people are as far away as they ever are from the arousal of desire and temptation, then no doubt the same procedures need to be followed even more rigorously at other places.
Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger PBUH say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home:
‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq."We know that the intermingling, mixing and crowding together of men and women is part of today’s unavoidable yet regrettable affliction in most places, such as markets, hospitals, colleges, etc.
Very embarrassing
Have any embarrassing situations ever happened to you because of mixing?
Among the embarrassing moments mentioned here might not be embarrassing to some readers due to their negligence in religion and immodest western ways they have adopted:
* I was at work one day, and I went into one department where one of my female colleagues who wears hijaab had taken off her hijaab in front of her female colleagues. My entrance took her by surprise and I was very embarrassed as a result.
* I had to do an experiment in the lab at university, but I was absent on the day of the experiment. I had to go to the lab on the following day, and I found myself the only male among a group of female students, in addition to a female teacher and a female lab technician. I was very embarrassed and felt very awkward with all those female eyes glaring at me.
* It so happened that one of the girls at the university bumped into me when turning a corner in a crowded corridor. She was walking quickly, going to one of the lectures. As a result of this collision, she lost her balance, and I caught her in my arms, as if I was embracing her. You can imagine how embarrassed I and this girl felt in front of a group of careless young people.
* One of my female colleagues fell on the stairs in the university and her clothes fell open in an extremely embarrassing fashion. She landed upside down and could not help herself; the young men standing nearby had no option but to cover her and help her to get up.
* I work in a company and I went in to give some papers to my boss. When I was going out, my boss called me back. I turned around and saw him with his face turned away. I was waiting for him to ask me for a file or for more papers, and I was surprised by his hesitancy. I turned away to the left side of his office, pretending to be busy with something, and he spoke to me at the same time. I thought that this boss would say anything except what he actually said, which was to point out that my garment was stained with menstrual blood. Can the earth open up and swallow a human being at the moment of making sincere supplication? For I prayed that the earth would open up and swallow me.
Insha Allah soon I’ll come up with true stories of victims of mixing…