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Saturday, June 21, 2008

Obedience To Parents In Islam

Islam builds a family in which prevails mutual respect and care. Parents and children in Islam are bound together by mutual obligations and reciprocal arrangements. Allah (SWT) Says “…No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child…” [Quran 2: 233]

The Quran has made it compulsory for the child to treat his parents with all goodness and mercy.

Every Muslim must show goodness and mercy to his parents throughout their lives. There is only one exception to this, and that is, if the parents ask their children to associate anything with Allah (SWT) and to commit sins, then the children must not obey their parents. In all cases, the children must show love and gratitude to their parents. They must always speak to them gently and respectfully. They must try their best to make them happy, provided they do not disobey Allah (SWT) in the process.

Allaah says “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Quran 31:15]

Being patient and tolerant with parents:

The children must take great care not to react to what their parents have to say. If they say or do anything which is not liked or approved of by the children, then they must show patience and tolerance instead of giving vent to their anger. The children must scrupulously try to refrain from disobeying their parents since the Prophet (PBUH) regarded this as one of the grave sins.

Supplicating for them:

Far from showing signs of displeasure, the children must pray for them saying, as Allah teaches us in the verse (which means): "…My Lord and Sustainer! Be kind and have mercy on them as they cherished, nurtured and sustained me in childhood.” [Quran 17: 24]

We must continue praying for them even after they die. Such prayer will be regarded as a continuous charity as the Prophet (PBUH) told us.

The greater right of the mother:

The children must be kinder and more grateful to their mothers since they took greater pains in their upbringing. That is why the Prophet (PBUH) emphasized that it is the mother who has the first claim on the child's care and attention.

Once a companion (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet (PBUH) as to whom he should show more kindness. The Prophet (PBUH) replied: "Your mother." He (may Allah be pleased with him) asked who comes next and the Prophet (PBUH) again replied: "Your mother." He (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet (PBUH) yet again who comes next. The Prophet (PBUH) replied: “Your mother." When the companion asked for the fourth time, only then did the Prophet (PBUH) reply: "Your father."

Recognizing their great status:

The Muslim should recognize the status of the parent and know his duties towards them. The status of parents in Islam is a status which mankind had not known before. Allah Has placed the respect for the parents just one step below the belief in Allah and true worship of Him.

Allah says “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Quran 17: 23]

The Prophet (PBUH) placed kindness and respect towards parents just after the prayer offered on time as the prayer is the foundation of Islam.

‘Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood (RA) said: “I asked the Prophet (PBUH) which deed is most liked by Allah? He (PBUH) said: ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked him: ‘Then what? He (PBUH) said: ‘Kindness and respect towards parents.’…” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Knowing the duties towards them:

It is also the duty of the child to provide for his parents, if he is able to do so. The Quran sums up the whole matter in a master concept called Ihsaan, which denotes what is right, good and beautiful (i.e. showing to them kindness, compassion, gratitude, reverence and respect, praying for them and supporting them financially if they are in need.)

Concluding, we mention a verse that shows the significance of obedience and gratitude due to parents: Allah says: “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” [Quran 31:14]


aminath said...

V salhi.Masha Allah.I really liked reading it.I,m sure (insha Allah) any one who read this will learn a lot, about the right way 2 treat parents..thought its so different from what we normally tend to do.....
Jazaakallah Khair.


v. salhi maashaa Allah. may allah grant us to take care of our Parents. aameen. By Allah! there is no religion which emphasize to take care of own parents other than islam. May Allah reward You guys for your sincere work. keep it up! the reward is going on Insha Allah.
wa billahi tawfeeq.jazakumullah ahsanul jazaa.

Visnaashey Akhaa said...

Its up to the slaves of Allah to decide according to the freewill granted by Allah.The truth is obvious.He who seeks the truth can see it clearly, where as he who follows the footstep of Satan cannot see the truth till the truth comes and slap on his face...And it might be too late by then.May Allah guide us all.Ameen.

fight4allah said...

salaam visnaashey akhaa, ur comment is beautiful.barakallah feek.

strivin4jannah said...

hello anonymous.this blog is only for the muslims who seek the truth n believe in Allah (SWT) and his Messenger (PBUH)...and those who want to become better muslims and learn all islamic teachings and follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) we do not need comments from you which are against our beliefs and which shows disrespect to Allah(SWT) and his Messenger (PBUH).

lifelong journey said...

Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs anyonymous,
You seem to be having a great time copying and pasting stuff from orientalist sources. I have a suggestion, why don't u make your own blog and write your views there out in the open instead of hiding in anonymity. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but the problem arises when the opinion is so unbelievably fanciful and baseless as yours. Let's put it this way, if the Prophet (PBUH) wanted to marry Zainab bint Jahsh so much he could have done so pretty easily. Firstly, he (PBUH) had the best lineage and that mattered a lot to arabs during that time. Secondly, Zainab bint Jahsh and Prophet (PBUH) were cousins. Lastly, Zaynab being Prophet's (PBUH) cousin, she was offered to him in marriage before she married Zayd. He refused her then, but after she was divorced he accepted her by the decree of Allah SWT which was for the two legislative purposes. The first purpose being the lawful marriage of divorcees and the second, the real status of adopted children.
These facts refute the far fetched theories by orientalists about Prophet PBUH being struck by her beauty after seeing her when he went to visit Zayd (RA). Why would he (PBUH) be suddenly bedazzled by her beauty when she was his cousin and they had known each other since childhood? It was Prophet (PBUH) who had arranged Zayd and Zainab's marriage in the first place, if he had wanted to marry her he could have easily done so. The truth of the matter is Zayd's marriage to Zainab bint Jahsh had crumbled due to the differences in status etc. Zayd was a former slave and as a result this was held in low esteem in the eyes of Zainab. Zaid had previously informed to the Prophet (PBUH) of his desire to divorce Zainab. However, the Prophet PBUH advised against it.
The fictitious and hard to believe viewpoint you presented could only have been dreamed up by the Kuffar who go to great lengths to insult our beloved Prophet (PBUH). They just want to concote ridiculous fabrications to diminish the integrity and morality of the Prophet (PBUH). They are not even worth considering, but I have wrote this comment to refute your comment which was tainted with venomous hatred towards the Prophet (PBUH). As a muslim, it is my duty to defend the honor of the Prophet PBUH and even if you continue to make such comments on this blog or various other Islamic websites, you can be certain that Muslims will definitely defend the Prophet (PBUH) because we love Allah SWT and his Messenger more than we love our own selves. And you accused Allah SWT of being unjust for ordering the Prophet (PBUH) to marry Zainab bint Jahsh in he Qur'an. Far above is He from the attributes which you ascribe to Him. May Allah SWT make us among the rightfully guided. آمين

عائشة said...

lifelong dat was a great reply...masha Allah...may Allah guide us ALL and make us true believers! Aameen

fathima said...

this is really good,,,,i want to do a project so i opened it.....but from reading this i have no words to say. i will care about my mom, whoever read this,in their life a big change would mine

fathima said...

mashaallah,,,, it is feeling gud after readin this....who evr read this,in their life a big would happen......... as mine...nowonwards i will take a gud care of ma mom...inshaallah

Anonymous said...

Yes, I understand you.

Anonymous said...

Now all is clear, thanks for the help in this question.

Anonymous said...

Jazakallah for all of this fabulous information. MAy Allah reward all of your efforts.
I was given the task of giving an indepth talk on obedience to parents,and your article has been a great help.
Finally, does anybody know any good sites where I can more information about Obedience to Parents From.
Rabbir Hamhumaa Kamaa Rabba Yaani Sagheeraa

FreeiPadx.NET said...

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Anonymous said...

hi my nam eis bob

Anonymous said...

I have to say this has Really Help me with my Mom and Dad. Am Very New am like a seedling Palm tree to Islam.


masha allah its nyyyc i would try ol i can 2 leave upto what ALLAH SWT says about respecting MOM MOM MOM & DAD

Anonymous said...

salam alaikum, im always worried about this subject and need abit of advice..all my life my mother never looked after me..she was on drugs had lots of children to different men n lied to me lots in my life she has done so many bad things to me i could go on and on, but i wont. So what can i do im scared i will get punishment for this..

Anonymous said...

in shaa allah everyone will learn from this article.. I really love my parents alot they have done so much for me and my siblings..
And people who are saying not nice things about islam and allah swt and our nabi pbuh.. Stop! You have no right! Islam is the true religion and thats a fact!

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